Clueless

Success is to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.

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Is there really a wrong or right direction?

There’s a ton of pressure in making right decisions that we most likely end up not making a choice and let the universe decides for us. And when fate put us into a miserable situation, more often than not we end up blaming everyone but ourselves.

Once in a while, life would throw us off. We mull over whether we’re on the right track or not. Sometimes we couldn’t help but look at other people’s lives and compare it with our own. There’s a tiny pang in my chest every time I see someone living their life so passionately. How can I not? I mean, they look like they have their life all figured out. But I realised it’s easier to envy other people than to admit to ourselves that we simply lack the motivation to work on the life we really dreamed of.

I usually deliberate on the idea that if only I’m intelligent or talented or had some obvious skill like other people do, my life would be sooo much easier, that I would automatically see a clear map of my future. But no, that’s not true at all. I’ve met a lot of wonderful people who are bright and gifted and yet they’re still struggling over their future. I realised everyone doesn’t know where they’re headed. Everyone is just as clueless as I am. And it’s okay. It’s okay not to know. It’s okay to make erroneous decisions, to take wrong turns, and to do stupid mistakes. If we have tunnel vision with our lives, we would missed a great deal of opportunities. If we don’t risk doing what our gut is telling us, we’re going to be stuck with the ‘what if’s’. What’s worst than committing a mistake? Not doing anything, not making any choice.

So there’s no point in worrying, there is no right or wrong direction, we simply can’t control everything. Sometimes we need to have a little faith with our decisions.

D.

Disappearing

Everything seems to be moving in a fast pace. The world spins endlessly and each tick tock’s alarming me to move forward. To get to somewhere. What if I’m not ready yet? It’s a poor excuse but I’m stuck feeling nostalgic to how things were and what’s in store in the future. Everyone seems to be on a rush, chasing their dreams and grabbing every opportunity they can get. Lay it on the line, I’m not sure I want to be part of it, yet. I am trying my best to focus on who I am and what’s in my life right now at the moment. I feel the necessity to absorbed  everything first before rapidly jumping off to the next chapter of uncertainty. There’s too much noise and distractions around that I can barely see that as time flies, part of us either die or grow into something else. The cliché fact that, ‘we’re not the same person as we were yesterday’, is awfully overwhelming. The notion that we are constantly evolving is an itch my brain couldn’t fully wrapped. However, I’m not entirely scared about change, I’m only afraid that ‘I‘ would fully disappear. Does it make any sense? I don’t know, either. 

D.

Where is my reward?

There are days when you can no longer take life’s unfair treatment, when you can no longer ‘suck it up’, when you can no longer endure watching others get their rewards and you get nothing despite your enormous  efforts and hard work.

‘Why is life unfair?’, you asked yourself.

Slowly yet unknowingly, the demons start to creep in inside your head lustfully whispering for you to give up and drown you with self pity.

The moment you choose to listen, instead of blocking it away, is the very moment you lose. It will cripple you, clouding your thoughts from seeing things in a better angle; and worst, makes you hateful towards others success.

The things is, life is unfair to everyone. Yes, not just to you. It’s a harsh, cold truth that needs to be recognized. You can compare your life to hundreds of people, especially whom you see as successful or rich or happy, and yet you would never know what’s lacking or making them insecure in their own mad world. Don’t let the demon win. It’s okay to feel beaten sometimes, let yourself bleed then let yourself heal.

You don’t need anyone’s recognition for your victories, no matter how infinitesimal or colossal, it always count. Acknowledge your own strength and dance your way through hell.

Maybe life is fair because it is unfair to everyone.

D.

 

 

Happy Place

Things happen in our lives for certain reasons; and it’s silly how we try to make sense out of it when we know  it’s patently abstruse. It’s true that nobody knows the real purpose why things happened the way it did but maybe, just maybe, it’s because it’s still part of the story; one which we need to continue figuring out.

Meanwhile, there’s that thing; a person or maybe a place, that doesn’t exactly makes your situation  better but somehow makes whatever you’re going through bearable. Makes you feel safe and not alone. Something like a home. A happy place. Something you could run to when things go wrong or when it’s simply right. It’s always there no matter how things turned out and you know everything will be okay.

Tell me, when you thought of your happy place, was it a where or a who?

D.

metamorphose

source: tumblr

It’s completely elusive how time is unstoppable. Constantly running, constantly changing how we think and act, yet we can barely tell the transformation. Perhaps it’s necessary that we ponder over how our lives has altered, especially that the year is about to end.

Did you live this year fully? Were you able to achieve your goals? What lessons did you learn?

Our ears often bleed hearing these kind of questions that we unceasingly reject it, but deep down we know we’re only afraid to find the answers. Somehow, these questions could actually help us inspect whether we had made any progress or not. It may not be easy to reminisce our struggles and bad experiences, but it’s rather essential that we recognize where we copped out and failed in order for us to grow.

To grow means to embrace the change and uncertainty on what lies ahead. We may have stumbled and fell this year, but the lessons we learned from each bruise we got would always leave an imprint, preparing us for a new battle.

So continue striving for the betterment of yourself, chase your dreams no matter how difficult it may seem,  and most of all, revel every transformation you have become.

D.

“Walls”

“It’s just me, okay? The more you try to get close to me the more you will get hurt”, she said.

“I don’t give a shit. It’s not your choice”, he replied

“What is wrong with you?” she said exasperated

“Don’t you get it? I am in love with you. I couldn’t care less if you’re a psycho underneath all your armor.”

“You know, there is no way to shatter my walls”, she protests

“I’d love you the same”

She stares at him, unable to speak.

“Nothing you say will ever change how I feel about you”, he looked at her amused by her lack of words. “Slash me out all you want, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Why won’t you just let me go?” she whispered in defeat

Cupping her face with both hands, he leans forward to see her eye to eye,

“Because as selfish as it may sound, it’ll destroy me.”

 

Fanciful minds of E&D

(for those of you wondering, Fanciful minds of E&D are excerpts  we’ve created from a book we’ll never write)

Inhale.

source: tumblr

How long can you hold your breath? Couple of seconds? A minute or two? Did your lungs feel like it was about to burst towards the end? It felt good to let go and breathe back again, didn’t it?

So why are you still holding on?

As cliché as it sounds, there really are things in our own demented lives that we need to relinquish. Not because we don’t want them anymore but because they’re causing us more damage than good. However, it takes an immense strength to recognize that not all people in our lives are meant to stay; it takes a punch from reality to be able to wake up and see that we’re clinging far too long for something that’s no longer there.

The opposite of holding your breath isn’t inhaling, it’s letting go.

D.

 

the director is you

“Fantasies. Like having your own entertainment channel that you can cut, edit and replay anytime, anywhere.”

-Michael Faudet

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It’s a wee bit funny and bizarre how in many instances, our thoughts wander off on their own. Other times out of monotony; but quite often because of the sheer itch to step out from reality.

The pleasure of living inside our head does not cost us a penny, therefore the liberty to daydream is  unlimited.  I believe that a certain dose of fantasy help us earthlings survive life. Every day is a constant battle for all of us, and usually the only escape that we have is to drift off to dreamland. The great thing about indulging our minds in the land of make-believe is that we have a say on how everything works. We have control over what should or shouldn’t happen; we can play around and be whoever we want at any time, put a soundtrack on certain life scenarios, tell someone what we really want to say without having to sugarcoat it, or just make fun of the people whom we truly hate (kidding) and so so much more. Life inside our head offers no consequence, and things are much simpler and less impenetrable. It’s sort of like a rebellious act wherein we get to say ‘kiss my a*s reality!’. We get to be in two places at once – physically existing and mentally wandering altogether.  For a while, the things that we want is just within arm’s reach.

However, a fanciful mind is either a blessing or a curse. You do realize you have the power to make it possible in reality as well, right? It’s your life – you get to direct it exactly just the way you want it to. But you have to work really really hard for it; we all need to.

Regardless of how beautiful living inside our head is, and how maddening and messed up reality is sometimes, I hope you and I find the courage to find ways to live the life we fantasize.

(source: tumblr/ ingelnook)

Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is – Brave by Sara Bareilles 

D.

epiphany

“today is the oldest you’ve ever been
and the youngest you’ll ever be again”

Let that sink in.

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Is it just me or are you batsh*t alarmed by that quote as well?

Personally, it’s hard to process something I stubbornly refused to be true.

Aren’t we all constantly haunted by the idea that we are wasting our life away? Partially, we do the best that we can to live it up to the fullest with all the ‘yolo’ mantra that keep us back on track; but heck, are we really living it enough? Truthfully, I’m afraid that I’m not.

And if you are, then I am genuinely happy for you. (keep up the lionhearted soul that you are!)

If there’s anything we can never compete with, it’s time.  It’s eerie how each *tick tock* passes us by so fast. If only we can hit the pause button and ponder a little longer before making life decisions, we may have avoided committing a lot of stupid mistakes. But then again, where’s the fun in that? 

Point is, it’s essential that we interminably remind ourselves that whatever phase we are going through in our life right now, we make sure that we live in the moment. Always take the good with the bad, remember–we don’t get a re-do.

 

source: tumblr

“I try to capture it, but a picture can’t hold what a heart is feeling. I just wanna stop the world from spinning, Slow it all down for a minute so that I can take it in.” – Moments Like This by The Afters

D.

 

 

Maybe Not

“The only difference between falling in love and being in love is that your heart already knows how you feel, but your mind is too stubborn to admit it.”

When it comes to the big L word, we Millenials are notorious for being cynical. We grew up in a hook-up culture where a one time thing is far more conventional than being in a decent relationship.

The shallow hope for chivalry is wholly vanishing; and truth be told, the search for a congruous partner takes eons. Thus, the rate of single individuals (hoorah!) and superficial relationships (no offense) are highly increasing.

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“Maybe Not” is a book  written by Colleen Hoover – one of the best authors in the land of romance.

This novella is Warren and Bridgette’s story which takes place during the time period of Maybe Someday. Warren is Ryder’s funny roommate and Bridgette is the bitchy Hooter’s waitress who recently moved in with them. Tensions run high and tempers flare as the two can hardly stand to be in the same room together.

I don’t want to tell you too much about it though because it’s a quick read and I think it’ll be way more fun to just discover it for yourself.

But here’s a little treat for you all, these two silly heads have fantastic banter and sexual chemistry…

“You kiss like you’re trying to resuscitate a dead cat,” she says, disgusted.
“You kiss like you are a dead cat.”
“You probably f*ck like a limp noodle.”
“I f*ck like I’m Thor.”

If you were a fan of Maybe Someday, you will undoubtedly love this book. If you never got a chance to read Maybe Someday, you will still love this book. And if you just happened to stumble upon this story accidentally while searching for a quick read, you just got yourself a new addiction.

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More often than not, we constantly struggle being true to how we feel because (let’s face it) cutting yourself open for anyone does come with a price. However, there’s nothing wrong in taking risks; just make sure you hold your head high no matter how it’ll end.

D.